Albert Brooks Quotes

Here, we’ve compiled a list of the best Albert Brooks Quotes. The wide variety of quotes available makes it possible to find a quote to suit your needs. You’ve likely heard some of the Albert Brooks Quotes before, but that’s because they truly are great.

My humor is traced with dark – I’ve got dark patches all over the place.

Albert Brooks

I studied acting at Carnegie Tech in Pittsburgh because I figured a good comedian certainly could act.

Albert Brooks

By the way, movies are like sporting events in that you‘re as good as the movie you’re in. You can sit in a room for 20 years and go do a movie and you can just kill in it and you move to the head of the line again. By the same token, you can do five movies a year and if they’re dreck, it’s nothing.

Albert Brooks

My roots were in acting. That’s all I wanted to be. Even though my father was a radio comedian, it wasn’t cool to say, at a young age, ‘I want to be a comedian.’

Albert Brooks

I’ve heard people say, ‘There are no bad audiences,’ but that’s just not true. There are people who just shouldn’t be together in a room, who produce a really bad audience.

Albert Brooks

I just like making people laugh, and buried in that I like to bring up topics and start discussions.

Albert Brooks

Wouldn’t it be great if cars came equipped with screens like that thing they have in Times Square that spells out the news? You could punch out your own instant messages: ‘Will the small red car with the ugly driver please stay a little further behind?’

Albert Brooks

You never do a movie and not want it to work. You accept whatever it is. You have to, but nobody in their right mind would not want the movie to be getting talked about at the end of the year.

Albert Brooks

If I’m going to act in someone‘s movie, I want the movie to be interesting and be able to get a couple of solid doubles.

Albert Brooks

Well, you know, with every character, if you’re going to expose yourself, you’ve got to figure out every detail that you’re going to play. So there’s no character that you can just go put on his shirt and be fully prepared.

Albert Brooks

There’s always the standard six people you can hire that have played all these villains in Hollywood. Instinctively, when they come on screen, you know what’s going to happen. You don’t know the story, but you know what they do.

Albert Brooks

If we had 3 million exhibitionists and only one voyeur, nobody could make any money.

Albert Brooks

It’s better to be known by six people for something you’re proud of than by 60 million for something you’re not.

Albert Brooks

In my screenplays – from the very beginning I’ve always used tape. I talk my screenplays. And then have somebody transcribe them.

Albert Brooks

Even in my comedies, I don’t take anger as a joke. I think anger and laughter are very close to each other, when you think about it. One of the things I like about a character: I always think it’s fascinating when a character can turn on a dime and go from one emotion to another. I like watching that.

Albert Brooks

Twitter is the Devil‘s playground.

Albert Brooks

I like movies about failing.

Albert Brooks

Even if you didn’t see the movie, you’d see two words you’d never seen put together before – comedy and Muslim. Comedy is friendly – it’s the least offensive word in our language.

Albert Brooks

The idea behind ‘Defending Your Life’: Imagine if you had to sit in a courtroom and watch your life. I don’t care who you are – if you committed a crime and you had to have all of your emails searched and made public, who on this planet could survive that? Nobody.

Albert Brooks

As an actor, if you’re just sitting and staring and you don’t know who you are in your own mind, it’s vacant. And sometimes the camera is an X-ray machine, it can pick it up.

Albert Brooks

My audience has lots of people between 20 and 35, but there are always a few 60-year-olds, and it makes me happier than if everyone was 22.

Albert Brooks

If your last name is Christ, don’t name your son Jesus.

Albert Brooks

If you don’t succeed on your own ground, then there’s no reason to succeed. Unless, of course, you really want a boat. If you’re a person who feels that with a yacht, everything will be all right, then you should do whatever you have to and get the yacht.

Albert Brooks

I don’t see many explosions or ten-car crashes in the course of my life, so I don’t put them into my movies. I would love to live in a society where ‘My Dinner with Andre’ made $100,000,000. Then I would be in the mainstream. I could do that stuff easier than I could do ‘Meatballs.’

Albert Brooks

Most entertainment is trying to get you. It’s tested, like toothpaste.

Albert Brooks

I never wanted to be a director.

Albert Brooks

All improv turns into anger. All comedy improv basically turns into anger, because that’s all people know how to do when they’re improvising. If you notice shows that are improvising are generally people yelling at each other.

Albert Brooks

What’s interesting about books that take place in the future, even twenty years in the future, is that many of them are black or white: It’s either a utopia or it’s misery. The real truth is that there’s going to be both things in any future, just like there is now.

Albert Brooks

It’s interesting when you’re part of a group – the Jews, to be exact – that the world has had such problems with.

Albert Brooks

I wrote this book, ‘2030,’ and I was careful in the book not to overdo the future because I don’t think it comes that fast.

Albert Brooks

Normally movies have the same people they use over and over for everything. It’s called typecasting. They don’t like to take chances. They’ll go with the guy they had before.

Albert Brooks

I’m a member of the Academy, but I don’t know who all the other Academy members are. It’s not like a politician who knows who is in the Iowa caucus.

Albert Brooks

When I audition, I understand what it takes and the insecurities that come with it. If I do anything, I put actors at ease. I used to tell directors who weren’t actors, the best thing they could do was take an acting class for a couple of months. Just to understand.

Albert Brooks

I’ve always been in the middle of making my own movies, so taking acting jobs that take me away from that has been impossible.

Albert Brooks

You know, I became a director out of necessity. I was writing comedies, and I couldn’t find anybody to deliver it correctly.

Albert Brooks

I was offered ‘Pretty Woman.’ I was offered ‘Big’ and ‘Dead Poets Society.’ But what was important to me in those years was to make movies, to make these Albert Brooks movies.

Albert Brooks

You know, when cameras are rolling, improvisation doesn’t feel natural. The pressure is too great. You’re on a time schedule. You’ve got 60 crewmen.

Albert Brooks

When I die, if the word ‘thong’ appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I’ve screwed up.

Albert Brooks

I like to do things that I want to see myself. With ‘Defending Your Life,’ I wanted to see some aspect of death other than angels and the thing that ‘Ghost‘ was about, because that didn’t make any sense to me. So that’s the reason: it fills a hole.

Albert Brooks

I guess I was the class clown – with a name like Albert Einstein, you don’t hide in the back. I’d read the school bulletin to the class, and I’d add activities and make stuff up. It was good, a good 10 minutes every morning.

Albert Brooks

I cast unusual people in my movies.

Albert Brooks

I made my living in comedy, but I’m not a silly person. I’ve got all these sides to me. Even in my movies that I’ve written myself, the characters sometimes border on great anger or nutsiness or other kinds of behavior. I’m not just doing fart jokes for two hours.

Albert Brooks

If you look at the best-seller list for American fiction, they’re all sequels to detective stories or stories about hunting serial killers. That’s what’s called American fiction these days.

Albert Brooks

You know what I’ve always wanted to do? I’ve always wanted to put a lung in a suitcase and send it through an airport security check. In effect, the guard would be looking at an X-ray of a lung.

Albert Brooks

I come from the place where I am thinking ‘I have put my blood on the pages.’

Albert Brooks

I’m not Elvis. I don’t get chased by paparazzi.

Albert Brooks

When I went to acting school, the kids that got the best grades were the kids that could cry on cue. But it didn’t really translate into careers for any of them, because the external is the easy part.

Albert Brooks

I think I present a different side of a male character: a side that is not John Wayne-like, a side that is, in fact, destructible. To some people, that is refreshing, and to other people, especially if they don’t know me, it may be disturbing.

Albert Brooks

I probably learned, being in ‘Taxi Driver‘ before I made my first film, I would come to the set every day just to watch how that film came about. It’s like a graduate course: it’s terrific. You talk to the cinematographer during the breaks. You ask the electrician why they are doing this.

Albert Brooks

I never, in anything I’ve ever done, tried to get you to like it. I was never going to succeed at that. That’s not the way most entertainment is made. Most entertainment is trying to get you. It’s tested, like toothpaste.

Albert Brooks

I’m not a big fan of the post-Armageddon stories, where Denzel Washington is walking around in a torn coat.

Albert Brooks

My dad played a character on the radio called ‘Parkyakarkus.’ A Greek-dialect comedian. He did Friars’ roasts and wrote material and made people laugh that way. But he wrote his own shows with other writers.

Albert Brooks

If people don’t love what you’re doing, that doesn’t mean you’re wrong.

Albert Brooks

I’ve always been the king of silence. I’ve always been a minimalist comedian. I’ve taken my influence from Jack Benny, who was the king of that… I’ve always done ‘less is more.’

Albert Brooks

If you want to be a writer, just write. There’s no magic to it.

Albert Brooks

One of the things I like about a character: I always think it’s fascinating when a character can turn on a dime and go from one emotion to another. I like watching that.

Albert Brooks

I like the acting. It’s how I started, and I sort of feel that if I don’t give it a little shot now, and I go back, then I’m pretty much done with it. I mean, at what age am I going to do it at? Although, when you see Christopher Plummer and Max von Sydow doing it, I guess the answer is 80.

Albert Brooks

If you’re going to act and do this for a living, you want to play something that the audience didn’t expect.

Albert Brooks

I’ve always liked to think ahead. Not stupid-far ahead. A hundred years doesn’t interest me. But 20 years interests me, and more for what happens to humans as opposed to things.

Albert Brooks

My dad died right after performing at the Friars’ roast for Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz. I have that tape somewhere. There’s still a lot of good jokes in there. I mean, that was 1958.

Albert Brooks

Basically, I still have the privacy that all celebrities crave, except for those celebrities who feel that privacy reflects some kind of failure on their part.

Albert Brooks

Steven Spielberg seems to have wanted to be a director from 13. He put his dog in a certain position and made him eat at four o’clock. He liked to direct it. But, to me, directing is tedious. Especially if you’re acting in it. And I’m inherently lazy.

Albert Brooks

I did years of summer stock. I sort of only wanted to be an actor. And then at 19, I was funny, and I had some of these bits that I did for friends, and I immediately could get on television.

Albert Brooks

Bullfights are hugely popular because you can sit comfortably with a hot dog and possibly watch a man die. It won‘t be me, but I can sit comfortably and watch it.

Albert Brooks

I don’t want to be the one to break it to you, but the future ain’t that funny.

Albert Brooks

I had a very wise person tell me that he thinks marriage, when you’re younger, you keep thinking you can fix things. That’s what people do. And you can’t really fix anything. It shouldn’t be a massive difficult thing every day. Life’s difficult enough.

Albert Brooks

‘Finding Nemo’ has spawned so many sort of emotions over the years. I don’t even know that you could really understand exactly what parents and kids are seeing in it, but they can see a lot of different stuff.

Albert Brooks

There are a few giant companies that I love, and I love Amazon. Their customer service is impeccable: sometimes, just for the hell of it, I’ll sleep on a mattress for three years and return it.

Albert Brooks

I’ve done performances in movies that I was immensely proud of and the movies didn’t take off like a rocket at Cape Canaveral, it didn’t take off.

Albert Brooks

Even though my father was a radio comedian, it wasn’t cool to say, at a young age, ‘I want to be a comedian.’

Albert Brooks

Albert Brooks Quotes

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