Bert Kreischer Quotes

Here, we’ve compiled a list of the best Bert Kreischer Quotes. The wide variety of quotes available makes it possible to find a quote to suit your needs. You’ve likely heard some of the Bert Kreischer Quotes before, but that’s because they truly are great.

I generate a lot of good vibrations, good energy.

Bert Kreischer

I’m just kind of a regular guy.

Bert Kreischer

There’s nothing like making a crowd laugh. For me that’s the ultimate high.

Bert Kreischer

I love giggling more than anything in the world. It’s my favorite thing in the world to do.

Bert Kreischer

My favorite thing to do is just hang out at home and watch a movie with my wife and my two daughters. There’s nothing outrageous about that but it’s the best thing I can do.

Bert Kreischer

I don’t have that kind of brain where I can spell-check.

Bert Kreischer

When I was on ‘Hurt Bert’ on FX – and I’m not crapping on FX, I’m just being honest – there was a point when I realized that they didn’t care if I died. If I died, they’d say ‘Of course it’s a legal thing, but think of the numbers.’

Bert Kreischer

I like parties. I like talking and conversations.

Bert Kreischer

If there’s an adrenaline rush, I will find it; if there’s an anxiety attack, I will have it.

Bert Kreischer

Part of my personality is I like to have a good time and I’m an extrovert, and extroverts, they blossom as meathead frat boys and extroverts get labeled as meathead frat boys. For me, it’s just part of my personality.

Bert Kreischer

I say off-the-wall things to get a response.

Bert Kreischer

My first stand-up experience was in Tallahassee at a club called Potbelly’s.

Bert Kreischer

No matter how successful I may get, I’ll always be a failed musician, sitting at a concert double-fisting overpriced twenty-ounce beers, wishing it was me on stage brooding soulfully to my fans. I had my shot once, but I let it slip through my fingers.

Bert Kreischer

I’ve always clowned around.

Bert Kreischer

I’m not technically brand-friendly to feminists.

Bert Kreischer

Don’t hole up in your apartment and just write jokes, be a real human being and develop your own voice. Then you will be undeniable.

Bert Kreischer

Some of the most fun I’ve ever had has been filming ‘Bert the Conqueror.’ As a stand-up comedian, I love putting this humorous spin on travel, and I get the added bonus of using all these wild adventures in my act.

Bert Kreischer

I have always liked being the life of the party.

Bert Kreischer

I love partying and I love laughing.

Bert Kreischer

My father grew up in Levittown, L.I., in the first tract housing built for G.I.’s. His dad had stormed the beaches of Omaha and died when my father was very young. My dad had to raise himself, pretty much.

Bert Kreischer

I did nine years with Travel Channel and had all of these incredible experiences.

Bert Kreischer

I like comics like Janeane Garofalo who is very stream of conscious in an honest way.

Bert Kreischer

I get this weird energy that starts in my feet and goes up and fills my head, and I just want to get everyone in the crowd to laugh.

Bert Kreischer

The Travel Channel named me the professional fun seeker, and that’s exactly what I am.

Bert Kreischer

I read some older books when I worked at Barnes And Noble, like some of the American classics. I read a lot of Hemingway. I fell in love with Hemingway’s prose and with the way he wrote. I feel like he’s talking to me, like we’re in a bar and he’s not trying to jazz it up and sound smart, he’s just being him.

Bert Kreischer

It’s not hard to find the energy to do the things you absolutely want to do.

Bert Kreischer

I grew up Catholic and still feel a lot of Catholic guilt. But my wife is not religious so we’re not raising our daughters religiously.

Bert Kreischer

My whole life I’ve wanted to be famous.

Bert Kreischer

Men scream, that’s why they gave us voices.

Bert Kreischer

I am not a big fan of very prepared standup. I like when Dave Attell writes and I appreciate it but I much more enjoy with he does crowd work. I’m not that kind of comic that prepares a specific set. If I see a comic do the same prepared set night after night I am so bored.

Bert Kreischer

You don’t go to a school and major in partying.

Bert Kreischer

I’d love to be a movie star. That’d be great. But I lost the looks awhile ago. They slipped right through my hands like sand in an hourglass.

Bert Kreischer

I need someone to be like, ‘I can beat Bert in a marathon.’ And then my Mickey Mantle genes will kick in and I’ll start going, ‘No you can’t. You can’t beat me, because I’ll beat myself.’

Bert Kreischer

I like making people laugh.

Bert Kreischer

I’d love to write a book called ‘How to Raise a Virgin.’ Seriously, I think a book about that would sell.

Bert Kreischer

I love touring. I love stand up. I love getting on a tour bus with my friends.

Bert Kreischer

I can talk fantasy football forever!

Bert Kreischer

People take getting offended in L.A. to an art form.

Bert Kreischer

I’ve learned to control my anxiety.