Drunk Quotes

Here, we’ve compiled a list of the best Drunk Quotes from famous persons: Johnny Vegas, Jason Bonham, Michelle Beadle, Ernest Hemingway, Julianna Margulies. The wide variety of quotes available makes it possible to find a quote to suit your needs. You’ve likely heard some of the Drunk Quotes before, but that’s because they truly are great.

My forte is playing drunks down the ages. When my agent

My forte is playing drunks down the ages. When my agent rings me about a role, I don’t ask what the part is, but what century it’s in.
I think I misunderstood the following in the footsteps bit, in a few of my early drinking years. I’d take any form of being compared to Dad as flattery. So if I fell off a stool or smashed up a TV set just because I was drunk, and somebody in the bar went ‘Hey, man, that was just like Bonzo!’ I would be really happy.
But I’ve never been the type to be sloppy drunk in public.
Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Isn’t there a danger with Tweeting, like drunk dialing? Isn’t there a drunk Tweeting danger?
I see myself as a serious artist, but yeah, when people come to my shows, they want to hear ‘What Was I Thinkin’,’ ‘Drunk on a Plane,’ and lots of up-tempo, fun songs.
The great security of all is to eat little and to drink nothing that intoxicates. He that eats till he is full is little better than a beast, and he that drinks till he is drunk is quite a beast.
William Cobbett
Through everything I’ve gone through- and I’ve been everywhere, at the top of the world, in jail, hung over drunk – I never gave up my dream of winning a gold medal in the Olympics.
I’d sing for any friend’s happiness. I don’t have to get drunk to do so.
The basic function of a comic is stand-up because it’s so straightforward and simple. If the audience don’t laugh, you didn’t do your job. I’ve had some audiences where I didn’t care if they laughed or not because they were either too drunk or stupid.
I don’t drink, and I don’t smoke. It’s a personal preference. My mom has never drunk or smoked. I look up to my mom.
I’ve been drunk for about a week now, and I thought it might sober me up to sit in a library.
I like to get drunk, I’m a power drinker.
I’ve been drinking tequila for a long time now, and it’s never been about drinking to get drunk. I don’t do that. I never drink tequila during the day, and I don’t drive at night.
You can’t trust a promise someone makes while they’re drunk, in love, hungry, or running for office.
Joe Moore
Love, with very young people, is a heartless business. We drink at that age from thirst, or to get drunk; it is only later in life that we occupy ourselves with the individuality of our wine.
Karen Blixen
We would not have ‘America‘s Funniest Home Videoswithout drunk brides and grooms falling into cakes.
Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.
Father Ted’ was written by Irish people, so that was fine, but around the time we were shooting it ‘EastEnders’ went to Ireland and represented it as this terribly backward society where people were going around with one eye and drunk.
I don’t ever want to be a punch drunk.
My uncle was the town drunk – and we lived in Chicago.
George Gobel
Clubs are so lame. Nobody even dances at these clubs. They stand around and get drunk and they schmooze. There is no enjoyment factor.
Nobody can write the life of a man but those who have eat and drunk and lived in social intercourse with him.
The sky was falling down on me and I spent most of the time drunk. It was the only way I could handle it.
David Millar
I will embarrass my kids to their core. I will threaten to show up in hot pants and a tube top. Their dad will drive me. And he’ll let me and my friend Lisa get pretty drunk in the backseat, and we will come into that party and just rip it up.
He uses statistics like a drunk uses lamp-posts, more for support than illumination.
Romano Prodi
I believe all drunks go to heaven, because they’ve been through hell on Earth.
Imagination is like the drunk man who lost his watch and must get drunk again to find it.
Guy Davenport
That incident ruined my reputation for 10 years. Get one Beatle drunk and look what happens!
Harry Nilsson
Our hearts were drunk with a beauty Our eyes could never see.
People kept reminding me. They were like, What was I doing on my 21st birthday? I was in Vegas getting drunk. You’re actually walking the red carpet. You’re hanging out with Patrick Stewart. Not everybody does that.’
When cars honk and hoot and drunks squeeze out of car windows and scream, you can be sure that football is in the air.
So, after awhile, you can only get so much happiness from a guy who’s drunk come up and tell you you’re great.
Rick Derringer
I had never, ever drunk beer in high school, and by the time I got to Tech we were having these parties out in the cotton fields and getting so drunk. I was the champion beer drinker; suddenly I was pouring it down my throatInsane! Insane!
Bob Livingston
I try not to drink too much because when I’m drunk, I bite.
We’d boil this whisky because we thought that would make it stronger. So we thought we were getting drunk, but in fact there’d be no alcohol left in it.
Life gives back what you give out. If you go around grumpy and drunk, then that is what life throws back at you.
Whenever I had been racially vilified before it had been by peers or drunk men. It’s more shocking when it’s a 13-year-old child. No 13-year-old is racist.
I have been brought up and trained to have the utmost contempt for people who get drunk.
I will embarrass my kids to their core. I will threaten to show up in hot pants and a tube top. Their dad will drive me. And he’ll let me and my friend Lisa get pretty drunk in the backseat, and we will come into that party and just rip it up.
It is the hour to be drunken! to escape being the martyred slaves of time, be ceaselessly drunk. On wine, on poetry, or on virtue, as you wish.
My voice? Yeah, well, I used to drink a lot of beer when I was a kid and I sounded like a drunk in a choir. I don’t drink anymore.
I write as if I were drunk. It is a process of intuition rather than placing myself above my story like a puppeteer pulling strings. For me, it’s a scary, chaotic process over which I have little control. Words demand other words, characters resist me.
When I played drunks I had to remain sober because I didn’t know how to play them when I was drunk.
I’m not a fan of reality shows, but I am a fan of people who use their brains and skills and hard work to outsmart people, not to steal someone’s man or get drunk on TV.
Of course I get drunk, my brain is only the size of a walnut.
Mark McKinney
The man who gets drunk in peacetime is a coward. The man who gets drunk in wartime goes on being a coward.
Ever since the Greeks, we have been drunk with language! We have made a cage with words and shoved our God inside!
Morris West
I’m not a fan of reality shows, but I am a fan of people who use their brains and skills and hard work to outsmart people, not to steal someone’s man or get drunk on TV.
I try to make myself, and subsequently the audience, as uncomfortable as possible, whether it’s completely desecrating a song they thought was one thing, or getting too drunk to really do a very good job.
My definition of sobriety is to be in full control and not feel drunk, but it’s not abstaining for religious reasons or any other reason.
It’s useless to hold a person to anything he says while he’s in love, drunk, or running for office.
If the Internet, ubiquitous as it now is, proves too dangerous in the hands of the psychologically fragile, perhaps access to it ought to be restricted. We ban drunks from driving because they’re a danger to others. Isn’t it time we did the same to trolls?
I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk.
John Huston
There is a communion of more than our bodies when bread is broken and wine drunk.
M. F. K. Fisher
It seems that whatever we do is somehow beyond reproach – murder, rape, drunk driving – as long as we go on a TV show and apologize.
Once you get involved with bloodsport litigation, you can not only get drunk on your own greed but start to believe your own lies.
When I went out on tour as Bing Hitler I would hook up with Lenny and we’d get drunk together. He was always very supportive. He was a big star and a lot of what he said to me had power and impact. Apart from that, I just like him.
If you wanted to show a mirror to people that says, ‘You’ve been drunk on money,’ they’re not going to want to see it. But if you reflected that mirror on another time they’d be willing to. People will need an explanation of where we are and where we’ve been, and ‘The Great Gatsby‘ can provide that explanation.
I was a savage for so many years of my life. There was some seed of determination in me that I was not conscious of. I was mostly consciously getting into trouble and drunk.
I remember having my father stand over me when I had driven over my own foot; one leg was out of the car and one leg was in the car. He looked at me and told me that I was a drunk and that he was ashamed to call me his son. That night, I stopped drinking and I never drank again; I was twenty four.
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.
If you think I’m a drunk, you shoulda seen my old man.
Hank Williams
You don’t quite know how drunk you are until all of a sudden you’re on the floor.
The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.
My schedule is completely different doing a play than it is doing a movie, and I actually think it’s a much harder schedule because you’ve got to do it eight times a week and you’ve got to do it good eight times a week and with different kinds of audiences who are cold or drunk or tired, whatever it is.
Don’t you know there ain’t no devil, it’s just god when he’s drunk.
The best audience is intelligent, well-educated and a little drunk.
Alben W. Barkley
I fell down in Hyde Park with a friend who’d had a hip operation, and neither of us could get up again. People must have thought we were a couple of drunks rolling around and walked on by.
Ava Gardner
Heckles always vary. I mean, some people are just drunk, and it’s nonsense, or, you know, some people just want to just repeat something I’ve said or add their own two cents about an opinion, but because of the nature of what I do and who I am, like, I also get the racist stuff, which is hard.
One thing I hope I’ll never be is drunk with my own power. And anybody who says I am will never work in this town again.
You don’t hear about me being at parties, going out and gettin’ drunk.
When the doors of opportunity swing open, we must make sure that we are not too drunk or too indifferent to walk through.
The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.
After the rise of Thatcherism, the smashing of the trade unions, and the post-cold war sense that any alternative to free-market capitalism was permanently discredited, you can see why the wealthy felt drunk on the sense of eternal victory.
I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won‘t let himself get snotty about it.
The best research for playing a drunk is being a British actor for 20 years.
The Orioles’ Dick Hall comes off the mound like a drunk kangaroo on roller skates.
Joe Garagiola
Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people ‘the cops.’ But you know, sometimes, you’ve just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!
Dave Attell
You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.
Yeah, that came out of a reading. It was great. It’s such a fun crew to be with, and we all went out the night before and that really encouraged us to go out and get drunk.
I attended a very small junior high and specially in the end that became a disaster. The principal was pretty senile and a drunk, so the children more or less runned the school.
Jonathan Brandis
The audience loves us! They buy out all our shows and really enjoy themselves but the press keeps right on bombin’ us. We thought at first it was because our music was too Texan, maybe too different for East coast people to relate to. But anyone can relate to bein’ drunk or missin’ your woman.
I hate crowds of people pretending to be happy on one night of the year, where they get drunk and obnoxious by the end of the night.
Kenny Hickey
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
Judges make tough decisions on child abuse, divorce, property disputes, drunk driving, domestic violence and other issues that should be free from politics.
I don’t want to fall into any single category. I don’t want to be known for portraying drunks or heavies or saints.
I’ve been at Amazon for almost 20 years at this point, so I’ve obviously drunk the Kool-Aid.
Don’t be getting sloppy drunk and telling them dirty jokes.
It’s not name dropping, but not many people can say, like me, that they spent the day with the likes of Francis Bacon or that boring drunk Dylan Thomas. You don’t forget things like that.
Jeffrey Bernard
Social topics may hit too close to home for people, but then again, if you pull a heartstring, then that’s what country music is. It’s not just songs about getting drunk and leaving your girl.
What white man has ever seen me drunk? Who has ever come to me hungry and left me unfed? Who has seen me beat my wives or abuse my children? What law have I broken?
If you’re stumbling out of a bar, and people tweet about it, well, don’t be dumb. If you’re going to get falling-down drunk, stay at home – which I did a lot of.
If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up.
I rely on the promise, ‘God is kind to women, fools, and drunk people.’
The reason that last-ditch political maneuvering has become business as usual in Washington is that the actors involved are drunk on blame and are convinced that the voting public is, too. They count on outrage, thereby spreading numbness. They cherish the prospect of partisan fury, thereby inspiring nonpartisan disgust.
I was always playing the hard-bitten drunk.
Sally Kellerman
Bill Clinton sitting on Air Force One getting his hair cut while people around the country cooled their heels and waited for him, became a metaphor for a populist president who had gotten drunk with the perks of his own power and was sort of, you know, not sensitive to what people wanted.
I got married, had two kids, watched a lot of football, drunk a lot of pints, etc.
I’m involved with Recording Artists and Actors Against Drunk Driving. I’m also involved with most children’s causes, because children can’t help the environment they’re in.
Only weeks after Oslo began, when nearly all the world and most of Israel was drunk with the idea of peace, I argued that a Palestinian society not constrained by democratic norms would be a fear society that would pose a grave threat to Israel.
The intense perfumes of the wild herbs as we trod them underfoot made us feel almost drunk.
Jacqueline du Pre
My idol is Emile Zola. He was a man of the left, so people expected of him a kind of ‘Les Miserables,’ in which the underdogs are always noble people. But he went out, and found a lot of ambitious, drunk, slothful and mean people out there. Zola simply could not – and was not interested in – telling a lie.
I don’t like tea! Never have, never drunk it.
I have never been drunk in my life, and I don’t expect I ever will be.
On a Friday night in 1983, I was in a taxi in New York riding home from dinner with friends. A drunk driver ran a red light and hit the cab, and I was thrown toward the glass partition. I tried to duck, but my face hit the glass, and the impact fractured my cheekbone, my eye socket, my collarbone and several ribs.
I was a bouncer when I was in DePaul in Chicago at the theater school. I threw drunks out of barsunless I had a play running that weekend. But I only had two actual fights. Some were like out of old Westerns.
We have wasted History like a bunch of drunks shooting dice back in the men’s crapper of the local bar.
We were playing, not for the drunks, but for the musicians, because it was more intellectually challenging. We needed somewhere to put our energy to show that we were growing, and as we started to achieve this, people came to hear us musically.
Ronnie Hawkins
Ray would be in trouble, he would get drunk, he would try and kill J.R on three different occasions, he would make mistakes with financial affairs, and have various human problems, but he didn’t have any mean bones in his body! That was a little bit of what the show was about.
Steve Kanaly
All the mistakes I’ve ever made in my life have been when I’ve been drunk. I haven‘t made hardly any mistakes sober, ever, ever.
My doctor tells me I should start slowing it down – but there are more old drunks than there are old doctors so let’s all have another round.
My voice is rather quirky. It’s abysmally low. People often think I’m putting it on at first. Think drunk Darth Vader. Or Barry White singing country. It suits my dark material. When I do readings, I really play it up and go subterranean. I can make the phone book sound terrifying.
Benjamin Percy
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Write when drunk. Edit when sober. Marketing is the hangover.
People always expect you to be jumping out of a Rolls Royce and being in the papers for drunk and disorderly or sleeping around.
Everybody gets too drunk sometimes; and even if everybody didn’t, I have gotten too drunk sometimes. I haven’t hurt anybody. In Ireland we drink a lot. It’s part of our culture. I like drinking. I don’t think it’s a bad thing.
Andrea Corr
I’m not really the party person. I don’t ‘become myself’ once I’m drunk. I don’t use alcohol to be happy.
I’ve never been drunk. I’ve never even had a beer.
I am the person who is a mother against drunk driver.
I’m not drunk onstage, although I’ve done that a couple of times when I was younger. It’s partly just the way I talk – I talk like somebody in a rocking chair. I’m your 150-year-old grandmother.
He is a drunkard who takes more than three glasses though he be not drunk.
When I was at Upright Citizens Brigade, I would pretend to be a sad, drunk rapper.
Neoliberalism has left Britain‘s boss classes drunk on triumphalism, paying themselves record salaries and bonuses while their workers are imprisoned by poverty and insecurity. It was never going to last.
I only worked on Men of Honor for three weeks, but I walked away with so much. Because Bob is the kind of actor who gives you the opportunity to really go there. And we really had to go there. I mean, we were both playing drunks.