Jackie Mason Quotes

Here, we’ve compiled a list of the best Jackie Mason Quotes. The wide variety of quotes available makes it possible to find a quote to suit your needs. You’ve likely heard some of the Jackie Mason Quotes before, but that’s because they truly are great.

1

I am very proud of my career and that I've the health,

I am very proud of my career and that I’ve the health, thank God, to continue doing this for so long.

Jackie Mason

2

I have always found myself trying to study and analyze the world around me – not just taking everything for granted and following whatever is popular.

Jackie Mason

3

It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life.

Jackie Mason

4

The truth is I’m not at all surprised of the longevity of my career. In fact, I would be surprised if the opposite were true and if my career did not have this longevity because I can’t believe people would purposely deprive themselves of such hilarious, meaningful entertainment at these prices.

Jackie Mason

5

I’ve been watching politics for 35 or 40 years and you just never know. You can have one person win the Iowa caucus and then the whole picture changes ten minutes later. The same thing can happen again after New Hampshire. I have no idea what’s going to happen with our country in the future.

Jackie Mason

6

Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant – even if they wanted to be one?

Jackie Mason

7

My comedy doesn’t come from any calculations and studies.

Jackie Mason

8

Predictions are preposterous.

Jackie Mason

9

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

Jackie Mason

10

Every comedian feels out an audience. As you’re telling jokes, if they’re not laughing at this, you change the subject.

Jackie Mason

11

If I’m a busboy in Philadelphia, then I have to be careful about what I say. But if I’m a public tycoon like Jerry Seinfeld, and I got a billion dollars in my pocket, he’s got to be nuts to wonder or worry about what people are going to think.

Jackie Mason

12

I knew nothing about professional comedians when I became a comedian. I was a rabbi. So I had no professional comedians to learn from.

Jackie Mason

13

I have a great identification with Judaism as a religion and as a culture, and all the values that created such a great history, and the Jewish contribution to the betterment of all humanity.

Jackie Mason

14

The Republican Party stinks because all of the Republicans have accomplished nothing, and they talk about all of these issues and do nothing about it for a whole lifetime.

Jackie Mason

15

It’s no longer a question of staying healthy. It’s a question of finding a sickness you like.

Jackie Mason

16

I can’t predict the future and I don’t have respect for people who try to.

Jackie Mason

17

I can’t pretend that I’m a great student of the art of comedy because anybody that becomes philosophical about humour doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Jackie Mason

18

I don’t believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It’s funny because it’s ridiculous and it’s ridiculous for different reasons at different times.

Jackie Mason