Robert Orben Quotes

Here, we’ve compiled a list of the best Robert Orben Quotes. The wide variety of quotes available makes it possible to find a quote to suit your needs. You’ve likely heard some of the Robert Orben Quotes before, but that’s because they truly are great.

Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.

Robert Orben

A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.

Robert Orben

To err is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

Robert Orben

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.

Robert Orben

With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they’d bust it to Corporal!

Robert Orben

Washington is a place where politicians don’t know which way is up and taxes don’t know which way is down.

Robert Orben

Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.

Robert Orben

There’s so much pollution in the air now that if it weren’t for our lungs there’d be no place to put it all.

Robert Orben

Never raise your hand to your children – it leaves your midsection unprotected.

Robert Orben

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that’s not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.

Robert Orben

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?

Robert Orben

Quit worrying about your health. It will go away.

Robert Orben

Love is so confusing – you tell a girl she looks great and what’s the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!

Robert Orben

Spring is God‘s way of saying, ‘One more time!’

Robert Orben

Inflation is the crabgrass in your savings.

Robert Orben

The secret of writing comedy is to know where it’s all going, then get ahead of it.

Robert Orben

Don’t think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success.

Robert Orben

Older people shouldn’t eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Robert Orben

Telling a joke is risk taking. Younger people are more insecure and not willing to put themselves on the line, so a quick one-liner is much safer.

Robert Orben

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality‘ is the key to success.

Robert Orben

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.

Robert Orben

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee – or laugh.

Robert Orben

What bothers me about TV is that it tends to take our minds off our minds.

Robert Orben

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

Robert Orben

I remember when humor was gentle pokes. I used to call it ‘arm around the shoulder‘ humor. Now they go for the jugular and they take no prisoners. It’s mean, mean stuff.

Robert Orben

Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.

Robert Orben

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Robert Orben

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.

Robert Orben

Do your kids a favor – don’t have any.

Robert Orben

If you can laugh together, you can work together.

Robert Orben